Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
