The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize