you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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