do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
