Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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