so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
