Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
