Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
