I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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