but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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