dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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