When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
high people should be assigned attendants
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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