What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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