You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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