i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jerry, you need to find god
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
