3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
