I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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