yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
