I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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