listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
