well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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