I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
