Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
