Are we in a gay sports bar?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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