it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Welp...herpes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
