YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
