On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
