dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
