my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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