I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
