garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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