This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
