Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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