that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we're so committed to being not committed
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
