We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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