They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
