Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
