I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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