I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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