smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
