Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
