Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize