its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also, beer. Big fan.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
