I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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