my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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