i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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