wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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