Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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