We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
