He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
