We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
