So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
