your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
vagina is talking i cant
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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