hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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