I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
These tits shall not be calmed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
