Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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