Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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