And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
