Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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