A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
