WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
