I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
