He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
