Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
