She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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