in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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