Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
