Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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