We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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