We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
