He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
