I need help removing her.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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