Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
