Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
