Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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