I'm drive I can fine osifer
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
